Why American Justice Sucks

I guess that “justice” has been served again.

I don’t know – I’m no judge, but after seeing Plaxico Burress sentenced for 2 years for basically shooting himself in the leg, I’m a bit speechless. I know that the news has repeatedly stated that NY has tough laws around possessing weapons, but convicting Burress with ”Criminal Possession of a Weapon” sounds soooo serious. Hasn’t he been humiliated enough to shoot himself? Don’t celebrities / top athletes usually only get a reprimand, a fine that they can easily afford to pay, and perhaps some community service?

Celebrities are above the law. Some celebrities are repeat DUI offenders – shouldn’t a car be considered a weapon? I mean, what’s the “strike system” for celebrities? 10 strikes? I can only remember two serving some kind of jail time : Kiefer Sutherland and Paris Hilton. But wait – Paris only served 3 days of her sentence, and was allowed to beg her way out for “medical reasons”. Yet, if your name is Lindsay Lohan, as long as you don’t kill anybody with your car (chasing people with your SUV is ok, though), and you’re both drunk and in possession of cocaine, then it’s fine – no jail time for you! Ah… it must be nice having a celebrity vagina.

Never drink and drive ... without your lucky hat

O.J. Simpson. ‘Nuff said.

Drugs are bad, ok? Mr Mackey pretty much sums up what blowhard politicians keep saying about the War on Drugs. I mean, if there’s one thing Americans have learned well, it’s that throwing money at a problem will eventually fix it. The bigger the “problem”, the more money has to be thrown at it. Logical, right Watson? I don’t want to start the whole debate on marijuana decriminalization, but what the heck? One point on the subject : when so many people have smoked pot, or been involved with cannabis in one form or another, including past and present presidents (Washington, Jefferson, Clinton, Obama), should we reconsider marijuana the same way we abolished prohibition? Seems to me if the government took care of growing it (job creation + quality control), selling it (job creation), and taxing it (both income tax money from the new jobs + sales tax on the product), they’d be the ones making the money and putting a lot of drug dealers out of business. They could even take this new revenue and go after the real hard drugs.

Blame terrorists. Once upon a time, someone had to be proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. Law enforcement officials actually had to collect stuff called evidence in order to incriminate someone. Nowadays, in order to be more “pro-active”, new systems exist where it’s believed that the government monitors all phone calls, email messages, etc for key words. I mean, why would privacy matter if terrorists are all around us? So, next time you kids text your friends with smutty stuff like : I’d like me some of that Paris Hilton lip action, remember: Big Brother is listening.

America is lawsuit crazy. Only in America can you be stupid enough to drive with hot coffee in between your legs while driving, and when the day comes that you finally get burned, you can turn around and sue McDonald’s because their coffee is “defective” (meaning, too hot).

Only in America can someone be stupid enough to plant fingers in a Wendy’s chili, and try to sue the fast food chain. Luckily for us, she was found guilty of making the whole thing up and the tables have been turned on her.

And only in America can you sue yourself. If you want to read on a few more stupid lawsuits, check this out .

Those Canucks up north. America keeps tooting its horn as being the land of the free, but it can’t hold a candle to those crazy Canucks up there. Justice up there often means a fine of 1 sled dog, and perhaps a couple of Saskatchewan seal skins. Sweet. 

Law-Abiding Canadian Citizen

Finally, I’m stuck with trying to find a witty conclusion, so I’ll go straight to the point with a question I’ve been asking myself : 

Had Burress shot BOTH his legs, would he have been sentenced to FOUR years, instead of two?